Kid Parenting

Enter the Tooth Fairy

July 2, 2016
tooth fairy feature

At Addy’s last dentist visit we were told that it wouldn’t be too much longer until one of her bottom teeth fell out.  While Brownlee and I debated whether or not we were going to deal with the Tooth Fairy, Addy proceeded to give us the full Tooth Fairy run down.  Her tooth falls out, she puts it under the pillow, the Tooth Fairy comes and takes it and she gets a dollar.

Fine I guess we’re going to do the Tooth Fairy.

As with a lot of parenting traditions, I just do not get the Tooth Fairy.  Why is she collecting teeth? Why do you get money from it? Why the pillow? Where did this come from?  It makes less sense than Santa.

Then she started to wiggle the tooth with her tongue.  Totally normal.  But she started to worry that the tooth falling out was going to hurt because her gums were so irritated.  The next day we opted for Wednesday ice cream instead of waiting for Friday and as soon as she bit into her cone her tooth came out.

So appropriate this happened at Baskin Robbins. #FuriousFive

A photo posted by Breonna Brownlee (@brewrites) on

Then we realized we never discussed how much the Tooth Fairy is supposed to bring.  I took to Facebook to ask.  I got a range of answers between $1 and $5 but we were reduced to cash on hand, which was a $5 and a $1.  We ended up settling on a $2 fee.  Where’d we get the other dollar? Addy’s piggy bank.  (Pro tip: piggy banks are a treasure trove of petty cash*)

And then at 11:30 pm she came busting into our room.


And she was clutching the $2 in her hand and was so excited that the Tooth Fairy came and I was like “aww how cute but also it’s time to go to sleep” and also I was trying to watch Seinfeld.  Either way she and her two dollars got into my bed and fell asleep.  And when she woke up she had the $2 and put it into the piggy bank.

tooth fairy

incredibly dark picture of sleeping Addy clutching two dollars

Then came the question of what to do with the teeth.  WHAT DO YOU DO WITH TEETH? WHY ARE WE COLLECTING THEM?  I took to Facebook, again but the answers ranged from “toss them immediately” to “my children are 30ish and I have their teeth still.”

The correct answer is to flush the tooth the next day.  That’s what I did anyway.

Like most of parenting, the idea makes no sense to me but we must do it because you 1) don’t want your kid to be the weird one who doesn’t know anything or 2) the dick kid that spoils all the things.

I also took all of our change and got cash so we don’t run into the dollar problems anymore.

tooth fairy 3

tooth fairy 2

tooth fairy 4

tooth fairy 1

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Life Randoms

Musical Revelations

June 29, 2016

The other day I saw that Reasonable Doubt was turning 20 years old.  I’m used to things that really just happened turning 20 years old.  Whatever.  And I was one of those “didn’t really appreciate it till the second one came out” people that Jay-Z raps about.  Actually, Vol 2 was my favorite but me and Shawn Carter have a strained relationship and but I appreciate what he’s done for rap and I had a few other music revelations while stuck in traffic.

Big Boi

While off-stage, Andre Patton can be problematic (on social media anyway) I have come to appreciate Big Boi as a rapper more.  Not to say that I once ever in life slept on Outkast.  But for a nice span of time seems like Andre 3000 got more shine.  Maybe it was Erykah Badu’s (also problematic) fault.  Or maybe I just got older and got into more pimp shit.  Or maybe it’s the consistency that Big Boi has pushed for the past 25 years.  Either way I’ve come to appreciate Big Boi a lot more now that I’m older than I have before.  And I still jam Big Grams so that might have a lot to do with it.

Unintelligible Lyrics

We watched the BET Awards because Twitter makes everything enjoyable, but it was a pretty good.  And while I’m never one for live rap performances, I realized I am biased when it comes to listening to new music.  Desiigner performed his big hit, “Panda”, and even though I’ve seen the video where he “clearly and plainly” sings the words to the song and even though I can read the words, I have the “Get Off My Lawn” stank face the entire time.  But if I’m going to be truly honest, if I like a pop song or alt rock song, chances are, I don’t know what they’re saying either.  That Rihanna / Calvin Harris song “This is What You Came For” is my jam and Rihanna just sings “you” 30 times in a row.

But then I didn’t feel so bad because Addy heard Panda and after the reprise of the chorus she goes “why did you start this song over?”  So it’s probably just a terrible song.





I need to go to London so I can get a vinyl press of Paloma Faith’s Fall to Grace.  I don’t know why but I need it.  I feel a way about ordering vinyl online plus remember that time I went to Austin to see if I could find Norah Jones?  They need a vinyl exchange program where you have a friend overseas that curates music for you.  And not the Vnyl service that’s a thing now (subscription box). I need a pen pal, except one that sends me British LPs.

I remember forever ago I had this theory that if you wanted to really get to know someone, swap iPods with them.  And I did, for a week, swap an iPod with someone.  It was funny how many things you have in common and how many new things you can find.  I suppose now it’s just “here’s a link to a Spotify playlist” but I mean whatever.

Ticket Stubs

And speaking of tangible things, I’m distraught because I won tickets to see Lake Street Dive at House of Blues.  They were PHENOMENAL and I’m glad Cassandra went with me.  Their encore set was Bohemian Rhapsody.  THEY DID THE WHOLE THING.  I had a new new found love for it since I listened to Queen.  But now I can’t find my damn ticket stub.  I think it’s in my bag somewhere but I need to make a point to continue to get paper ticket stubs.  Brownlee got movie tickets on Fandango and I was like “but the stub”.  I’d like to say I’m keeping them because I want to sit Addy down and tell her about all the times I saw Spoon live but we all know she don’t care.  4.  It’s been 4 times.


Oh and I haven’t had a #NewMusicMonday cause I’m really just waiting for SChoolboy Q… but I am open to suggestions!

So what say ye? Big Boi or Andre 3000?  Can you separate the two?


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Kid Parenting

Darndest Things 06.21.16

June 21, 2016
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Normally I preface these posts with niceties about how we can have full conversations with Addy and she can voice her opinion on things and it’s cool.  But we’re smack in the middle of #FuriousFive and it’s mostly me not yelling “well what the f*ck am I supposed to do about it?”  That’s generally my stance on life right now though.

Let me tell you a little story about some goddamn fruit snacks.

Lillian is Addy’s friend.  Addy keeps 3-4 snacks in her bag for sharing or trading or whatever.  Well Lillian showed up and showed out with some new “bunny snacks” and suddenly the Mott’s wasn’t up to par.

And Addy goes “Lillian had these bunny snacks, Mom.  They were so good.  It was like the best snacks that I ever had.”

Me “ok well I don’t really know how I’m supposed to get them so just…like what do you really want me to do about this?” (see aforementioned stance on life)

Cut to Thursday when my child had the teacher hold Lillian’s empty pack of Annie’s bunny snacks and we were tasked procuring these Annie’s.  How Bre, how would you remember which exactly which pack of snacks to buy?  She’s helpful.

Annies snacks

Anyway, they don’t have them at Kroger so when we were on the way home Addy waited until we were stuck at the light to talk to me.

“So remember how I said Lillian had the best bunny snacks?”
“Yeah I know she had those fruit snacks.  They didn’t have them at the store.”

bunny snacks mom.  I put them on the fridge. you never listen to my plans!


We’ve also had some quick gems like

you scared a fart out of me



goodness me you almost scared me a heart attack!



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